is a child.
* * *
I recently returned from a beautiful road trip covering 1241 miles, (nearly 27 hours of driving, with a 14 month old), many along the California coast line. And while many thought my wife and I were a little on the loopy side for attempting such a trek with our little one, we both love road trips and we knew our children would have to be raised to love them too. And what a great start.
With so much fodder for discussion, I would like to take a moment to focus on one piece in particular that stuck out at me in the end. As any parent can tell you, if you are around a 1 to 3 year old, expect everything you do to be imitated, only more bluntly and with a better performance. And while many may joke about having to hide certain habits, lest their child repeat them, for one week my wife and I were inseparable from our child. That's roughly 200+ hours straight with the little guy.
And what a wonderful opportunity. If he is going to copy just about everything I do, then rather than attempt to hide my bad habits, why not discard them? In truth, if it is a habit that I wouldn't want him doing, thus I have to spend time away from him to do it myself, then it is serving all sorts of evil ends. Instead, for 10 days conduct myself exactly how I would like him to act. For me, one of my biggest issues is email. Being that it is part of my work, I am constantly on it, for both business and personal use. But both prohibit me from being in the moment with him if he is around. Even checking a quick message on my phone takes my mind away from being able to Live in the Moment (Thanks again Jason Mraz =) with Sunshine and Alexander. And while others may have the ability to multitask far better than I, I recognize I do not multitask well, and I learn to compensate for it.
When it comes to projects, I have lists upon lists for prioritization. A couple of things missing from nearly all of them comes my family. This comes not from an absence of them on my priority scale, but rather, they are the heading, the end goal, of each. If a particular project or action does not in some way contribute to my family, then it does not deserve my time. With email/messages, I've gotten fairly good at reserving it for times where Shine and Alex are sleeping or busy, but even checking it throughout the day has it's toll on my attention span. During the past 10 days, I checked email maybe twice, and only skimmed it for dire messages, then logged out. And while, in theory, it seems harmless enough to even reserve checking with the outside world to only once a day, I cannot accurately describe the difference, the impact, the longer time span has had.
Sunshine and I have been together for quite some time, in fact, since before the dawn of
everyone and their mother and child has a cell phone. We've had time to bond like this before. But since AJ was old enough to properly have his sight, I've been back at work. Even holiday weekends meant time with the broader family, not nuclear family bonding time. So for us, this trip was particularly eye opening. At no point in the day did he have to face the reality that daddy has to go off somewhere. At no point in the day was my mind focused on the fact there is a life outside of these 10 days.
And now, the trip has come to an end. I'm at the desk checking my email again and, alas, there is life outside of the past 10 days. And what wonderful wonder that life goes on. Tomorrow, Monday, does not entail an end to what has transpired, but like all times in life, will find a home in a recess somewhere in our minds and our hearts. Good habits cultivated will continue. Strengthened bonds will continue to grow even stronger. And every time I sneeze, AJ will laugh, because it's pretty funny.
