While watching Reign last night with my wonderful wife, I was reminded that while society will push us as individuals to play certain roles, it does not necessarily dictate that we actually believe in those roles, even if we appear to be playing them. Set in a time period where gender roles are blatantly outlined (not that they aren't today, but we often lie to ourselves about their existence), it shined light on our propensity, even when well intentioned, to take the limits put on us as absolute.
"As the King's wife, you must know your place," said King Francis (or something to that effect)
Assuming the best of modern day society, let's pretend a phrase so blatant is never uttered in our modern day (a laughable joke, but stay with me). Why does something like this sting our sense of equality? Maybe because we have come to learn that valuable opinions and actions are not restricted by gender.
And yet...
It is just as common place for women to think of men, "Ah, X day of the week, yes, the couch in front of a X sports game is your place," or for men to think of women, "Ah, X time during X day of the week, watching X soap opera is your place,". First, it pains me to even write gender based stereotypes, but again, ignoring the fact that different genders can like both activities, it is none the less still a known stereotype (as I imagine your reading these assumptions is not a revelation of something you've never heard before). But second, as long as we think in stereotypical terms, we lose out on the opportunity to connect with our partners as individuals.
As it so happens, on Sundays (or Mondays or Thursdays), I do enjoy watching the Packers kick butt.
As it so happens, on Thursdays (or other days on demand), Shine does enjoy watching Reign, Vampire Diaries, etc.
But this has nothing to do with her being a woman, or my being a man. She as an individual enjoys certain activities. I as an individual enjoy certain activities. As individuals, the activities we enjoy are windows into our soul, speaking volumes about who we are. And as she and I together, are ourselves an embodiment of unity, these activities are also windows into different parts of ourselves.
And so, Sunshine also enjoys watching the Packers clinch a game with 3 seconds left.
And so, I also watching Damon outwitting his opponents time and again.
The fact of the matter is, with my working full time as an identifier of talent at work, and her working full time as a cultivator of human life in the home, while we may appear to look like your stereotypical husband and wife, filling our appropriate gender roles, we are anything but.
We value love and teamwork
We see potential for creating a better environment for our kids
We will not forsake an opportunities to do so because they appear stereotypical
Through our life, we communicate with one another constantly - sometimes better than other times. But it is never lost on either of us that we will do everything in our power to attain our common goals. And we will never lose sight into the fact that we aren't entirely separate individuals.
I say all this to say, we are fortunate enough to know each other, and to love each other in such a way that we enjoy each others passions. This is not necessarily for everyone. However, if you are in a relationship, I encourage you to try playing a role along side of your partner. It's quite rewarding to join in, and who knows, you may see your partner play a role differently than you might have expected them to, and you may even enjoy it yourself =)
