Parents (Part 2 of 4)

When the little one is upset, Daddy comes running to the rescue. Most of the time the comfort of my hand will soothe his anxiety, but only one person can quell his hunger: his mother. This is dedicated to mine.

While I'm tempted to write on the life giving prowess of my mother, this is something Sunshine (and females generally I imagine) can appreciate more. For me, it's all about life lessons and in this area she was not poor. One attribute that I value in myself over any other is one I inherited from my mom. As I've written before, prejudice is long from gone and to enter into an interracial marriage just 12 years after it was nationally legalized is the truest testament to my mother's wisdom with regards to appraising people.

Growing up I had friends that were white, black, mexican, chinese, japanese, indian, etc... Never once did I hear a sly comment made with reference to their ethnic background or cultural practices. In fact, even with regards to her acquaintances the same was true. Even with the horrible drivers in the bay area, only once in my lifetime did she get visibly upset, but again, her comments were only directed towards their actions, nothing else. And so, from the source of my sustenance, I learned that people are to be judged by their actions and not their cultural differences. This has proved invaluable.

You see, that books are to be judged by more than the art on the cover spans more than just its analogy to people. To critically assess information generally is a talent that takes practice to perfect. My mother was essential in this area. While most of my generation are completely and irrevocably committed to science as if it were a religion, my mother taught me that science too is not without emotion. It is not perfect, it makes mistakes. It's comforting coat of verifiability was not to mask the fact that public opinion - the greatest and most fickle variant in the universe - had a hand in what was to be considered truth. Newton was right: an object in motion tends to stay in motion until acted upon an outside source. However, nineteenth century scientist were wrong: Morphine is likely not a good way to kick an alcohol habit! (And later they would prescribe herion to help people kick their morphine habits) At the same time, she never once restricted me from loving and learning all I could about science. To quite the opposite, she aided in and encouraged my venture to the fullest extant of her abilities; devoting time, money and sleep towards my journey to a truthful and flourishing life.

For some time now I've been exceptionally happy with everything and I have someone that deserves thanks. And while we may continue to disagree on the letter of the law, we see the same spirit. It is on this branch where we nest and where we return to after flying through the world, my mother and I.

Thank You

~ Namaste ~

Parents (Part 1 of 4)

In case you've been under a rock somewhere and still haven't heard, Alexander James Stroman was born on April 8th, 2011 @ 3:31 am weighing in at 9 pounds and 11 ounces, stretching out 22 inches. One week later he and Shine are both healthy as can be and I'm the happiest dad the world has ever known. So with the arrival of my beautiful son and my induction into the league of fathers and Sunshine's admittance into the consortium of mothers, I find it fitting to start my first ever multi-part blog with a tribute to parents.

I could go on all day about my own father if I did not first limit the scope of my conversation. As such, I would like to tell you about one of the most important life lessons he has taught me. It started years ago, late at night in a field somewhere now unknown to me. I barely remember any details but the sky was clear and we were out with a number of amateur astronomers star gazing. The universe was unfolding in front of me and my little mind could barely comprehend the vastness of what I was looking at. But I wanted to. I wanted to take in all the stars and planets. I wanted to know all about nebulas and constellations, black holes and naked singularities. I wanted to be an astronomer. 

My dad's response: "I don't care what you choose to be as long as you are the best you can be at it." 

While this may not be his exact words, they are what stuck with me and I would like to elaborate on what it meant to me. To be sure, it is slightly different than what some fathers tell their sons, often creating much stress and anxiety later on. He did not tell me to be the best, he told me to be my best. With this, he emphasized that while results matter, so do intentions. I continued to learn about space and did several projects on the planets and the solar system and to this day, if an astronomical special comes on TV, I'm bound to find myself glued to the tube til its over. But even as a child I realized that my dream of becoming an astronomer would conflict with another goal of mine: to be a father.

I cannot tell you when I came upon this thought, but some time very early in life I became entranced with the magic of life and how the responsibility of fatherhood came with benefits no other profession did. And it worried me that, as an astronomer, I would basically become a night owl - which with my limited knowledge of familial types, meant it would be a hard profession on my family. You see, one of the greatest things a parent can do is to spend time with their child. My father, for one, made it a priority to go to at least one field trip per year when I was growing up, often making it to multiple. This being no easy feat as his job was very demanding. For this I admired him. He did not spend as much time with me as either of us would liked, but from what I saw, he thoroughly enjoyed his work and I loved hearing as much as I could about it. To me, he wasn't just doing his best, he was the best at what he did - if for no other reason than being able to balance an incredible work load and family.

And so, with astronomy out of the question I was without a profession to work towards. Later I would bounce around from music teacher to math teacher to psychologist to elementary school teacher to hotel manager and finally to philosopher. I really liked this last one but I was torn. What is a philosopher? While that question alone deserves its own blog, essentially, a philosopher is what I am as a foundation. From there I will build a character that I would be happy to associate with as my being. As for an occupation, I've decided to become an "expert potential extractor". This, like fatherhood, takes many forms but in short it entails that whatever I do, I will help people - using all of my love for astronomy, math, music, art, psychology, management and philosophy - to become the best _______ they can be. My life's work will be to pass on the message my father passed on to me not just to my son (and future children), but to all those whom I have the pleasure of meeting. 

To this end I would like to give a shout out to my father for being the best father he could be!